About Tessy7 : Sarcasm is fun.
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Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (2457)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (1489)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15771) - you deserved it (1774)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12627) - you deserved it (2280)
On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17438) - you deserved it (3157)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16107) - you deserved it (2695)
On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (2453)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6125) - you deserved it (19360)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (4300)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12627) - you deserved it (2739)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4311) - you deserved it (29120)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (3351)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:35am - love - by ToxxicAngel (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
I agree, your life sucks (18559) - you deserved it (2404)
On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6540) - you deserved it (26917)
On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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