Tektite

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Offline (the 09/18/2016 at 1:04am)

Tektite

22Fucked!

TektiteTektite
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5193
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About Tektite : *Waves*

Tektite's page activity

Visits<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 12:31pm<b>ebroks</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 10:02am<b>EvilKaa</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 6:41pm<b>chokolada</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 8:46am<b>dellam</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 6:20pm<b>finatix</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 9:44am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 8:22pm<b>killintime379</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 4:50pm<b>stacemcface</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 9:09pm<b>satya94</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 10:43pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 10:11am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 1:35am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 3:07am<b>Arnoud</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 4:16pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 12:52pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:20am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 2:25pm<b>oreowaffie</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 10:01am

Fucked!<b>chokolada</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 2:46pm<b>satya94</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 4:44am<b>Arnoud</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 10:10pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:48pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 5:38pm<b>delichick</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 8:33pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 3:38pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:57pm<b>arano</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:37pm<b>hussien</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 1:00am<b>mrlucky22</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 5:48pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 4:31pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 10:26am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 3:17am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:54am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 8:29pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:21am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:40am

Tektite's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Tektite's badges

Tektite's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

by lily / 03/23/2009 at 11:46am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

by Mason_Jayson / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML

by LindseyS / 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm / United States / Love

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

by Zack / 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

by sheyo / 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

by Sad / 03/01/2009 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

by textfail / 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love