Tektite

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Offline (the 03/27/2016 at 9:47pm)

Tektite

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4467
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About Tektite : HIYA!! I like.. Love the sun and listening to music. I love tattoos and piercings too! I have 3 tattoos and the one on my back is newest (Those shorts make my ass look nice- Yes that is really me). I don't actually like.. Live in McDonald's but I didn't want to like.. Say where I actually lived LOL !

Oh! And, My name is May and I don't usually check messages because I use the FML app.. But I'll start checking just incase! Thanks for visiting *MUAH!!!!!!* *KISSES!!!*

Tektite's page activity

Visits<b>ABlindMan</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:26pm<b>salii321</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 10:55pm<b>YDISM</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:44pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:09pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:03am<b>stryggzy</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:29am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 2:29pm<b>Bravewolf</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:33pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 9:19am<b>hfmayo</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 1:10pm<b>jansdrs</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 8:08am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:47pm<b>HoboRain</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 5:45pm<b>Rei_Ayanami</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 8:47am<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 1:54pm<b>KeannaLove</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 5:39pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 11:41am<b>bananajoe666</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:33am

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 8:29pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:21am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:40am<b>Shazra</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:28am<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:00pm<b>noahg45</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 1:41pm

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50 favourites

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Tektite's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

by thedogkisser / 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

by MJ3105 / 05/07/2009 at 7:36am / Israel / Animals

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

by brob56 / 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

by Smooth / 04/11/2009 at 3:38am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

by Smooth / 04/11/2009 at 3:38am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

by StevieMe / 04/08/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Work