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Tektite

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Tektite
  • Town/Country : McDonaldsLOLJKCanada, Canada!
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 February 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 2065
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About Tektite : HIYA!! I like.. Love the sun and listening to music. I love tattoos and piercings too! I have 3 tattoos and the one on my back is newest (Those shorts make my ass look nice- Yes that is really me). I don't actually like.. Live in McDonald's but I didn't want to like.. Say where I actually lived LOL !

Oh! And, My name is May and I don't usually check messages because I use the FML app.. But I'll start checking just incase! Thanks for visiting *MUAH!!!!!!* *KISSES!!!*

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Tektite's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32986) - you deserved it (8788)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49306) - you deserved it (4175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (32127)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (2196)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

#6681986
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30581) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

#6681986
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30581) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm - love - by boogerbrain (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18264) - you deserved it (88316)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

#4151935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7248) - you deserved it (76420)

On 07/30/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by FGum (man) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (5139)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

#3812177
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13264) - you deserved it (63148)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (87799)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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