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TazInYourPantz

Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 8:38pm) | Search for a member

TazInYourPantz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1146
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TazInYourPantz : The peacock once said to the pimp, "we must procure more aglets in order to penetrate the fractal ninjas." And that is how I came to be.

TazInYourPantz's page activity

Visits<b>totallybananas</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 4:31pm<b>trencher97</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:15pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 4:15pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 9:24pm<b>Merylwen</b> - the 04/07/2012 at 12:18pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 04/06/2012 at 2:19pm<b>Cinn</b> - the 04/06/2012 at 1:43pm

TazInYourPantz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of TazInYourPantz's badges

TazInYourPantz's favorite FMLs

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you deserved it (3979)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8538) - you deserved it (47564)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29628) - you deserved it (9400)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30244) - you deserved it (3069)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, my girlfriend started a conversation with "I don't want to break up" and ended the conversation with "I think I'd be better off alone." So I guess I'm now single. I think. FML

#19562496
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23827) - you deserved it (2096)

On 05/02/2012 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16690) - you deserved it (30052)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

#16861259
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (4015)

On 06/26/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by ugly - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (5194)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60874) - you deserved it (4743)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML

#16002585
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51843) - you deserved it (4983)

On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40521) - you deserved it (5586)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72471) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54748) - you deserved it (27492)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (83053)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)



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