Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TazInYourPantz

Search for a member

TazInYourPantz
  • Town/Country : TazLand, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 846
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TazInYourPantz : The peacock once said to the pimp, "we must procure more aglets in order to penetrate the fractal ninjas." And that is how I came to be.

TazInYourPantz's last visitors

totallybananastrencher97Pleonasmsweet_candy_MerylwenCinn

TazInYourPantz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of TazInYourPantz's badges

TazInYourPantz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (8182)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17147) - you deserved it (3145)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17147) - you deserved it (3145)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (1972)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33938) - you deserved it (5624)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10765) - you deserved it (39141)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML

#19713389
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13473) - you deserved it (9014)

On 06/01/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by furred (man) - Philippines

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

#19699058
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16748) - you deserved it (3784)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20653) - you deserved it (2173)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (2240)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML

#19671635
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18496) - you deserved it (1530)

On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6229) - you deserved it (47551)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38444) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: