TazInYourPantz

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Offline (the 09/03/2014 at 8:38pm)

TazInYourPantz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2373
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TazInYourPantz : The peacock once said to the pimp, "we must procure more aglets in order to penetrate the fractal ninjas." And that is how I came to be.

TazInYourPantz's page activity

Visits<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:44pm<b>trencher97</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 12:15pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 4:15pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 04/09/2012 at 9:24pm<b>Merylwen</b> - the 04/07/2012 at 12:18pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 04/06/2012 at 2:19pm<b>Cinn</b> - the 04/06/2012 at 1:43pm

TazInYourPantz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of TazInYourPantz's badges

TazInYourPantz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

by cl4ptp / 08/14/2012 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

by what the actual fuck / 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 7:39am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

by Itstrickyyxx / 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

by Nofriends / 07/09/2012 at 7:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

by thinkimquitting / 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:59am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

by ExplosiveDildo / 06/22/2012 at 9:08am / Afghanistan / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

by TheDumper / 06/21/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Arizona) / Health