Taylorlake

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Taylorlake

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2447
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Taylorlake : Uhhh...

Taylorlake's page activity

Visits<b>rob02</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:27am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:22pm<b>shoopd</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:57am<b>Jason_Q</b> - the 04/29/2010 at 5:19am<b>FaIlCaKe4You</b> - the 11/09/2009 at 5:59pm<b>CHRIS1920</b> - the 08/02/2009 at 10:33pm<b>Csnyd2008</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 4:36am<b>KeithHarris</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 3:14am<b>lorrain</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 2:07am

Taylorlake's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Taylorlake's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

by Dirtyswede / 06/17/2009 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

by enderw / 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

by biker2012 / 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

by ECullen / 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

by oops / 05/18/2009 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

by embarrassedmom / 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 9:53am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

by matt5th35hit / 05/09/2009 at 4:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.