Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tattooed_Blonde

Search for a member

Tattooed_Blonde

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 862
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Tattooed_Blonde : My name is Megan-Jade
And I would be a better serial killer than you.
I swear, I get inked and I drink.
I party and get so wasted that I can't see straight.
I wish I was five again, so I would
have a better reason to get barbie naked.
I don't care about how wonderful you are.
Music is my fuck drug.
Grow a brain and say more than just "sup."
I laugh loud and hard... It's pretty fucking annoying.
I love nature and the nature of people,
you never cease to amaze me.

Tattooed_Blonde's page activity

Visits<b>lagreeni</b> - 13 hours ago<b>zapweed</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:08pm<b>lynsay</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:11pm<b>jane35</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:31pm<b>stimpy159</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 2:59pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:35am<b>hullarms</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:51pm<b>rustybucket</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:46am<b>livyhol</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 11:41pm<b>blackwidowtaco</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:04pm<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:20pm<b>HDineffect</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:23pm<b>estroyer9</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:13am<b>strugglingatlife</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:38pm<b>happy2468</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:14am<b>pinkpalmtrees</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:42pm<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Amydervaux</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:46am

Fucked!<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:54pm<b>sarahmsw20</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:17pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:03pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:11pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:52am<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm

Tattooed_Blonde's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Tattooed_Blonde's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (3676)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37679) - you deserved it (4833)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11911) - you deserved it (34268)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109897) - you deserved it (12756)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my dad came out of a hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said "look! this place has cotton loin clothes" in front of my wedding party. FML

#7706171
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (2252)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by indianaxx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37533) - you deserved it (5320)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

#7346390
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31593) - you deserved it (2183)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (3049)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (2977)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (2870)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

#3348411
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (13084)

On 06/29/2009 at 10:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1218562) - you deserved it (127588)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: