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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (1782)
On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8450) - you deserved it (57546) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, at my job as a waitress, I patiently told an elderly customer that it wasn't OK to grab my butt. He started crying. I was fired for "being mean and unreasonable". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (2408)
On 07/04/2011 at 2:33pm - work - by buttstothat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (9094)
On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (1702)
On 01/06/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (8016)
On 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by katy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (2255)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21414) - you deserved it (2062)
On 09/19/2010 at 3:31am - love - by messyfamily (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (2506)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (5495)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (2766)
On 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by everyonewasstaring (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (2338)
On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (6618)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (2398)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38929) - you deserved it (11467)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Monday 17 June 2013
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