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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (10198)
On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (6013)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42265) - you deserved it (3420)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (2860)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32580) - you deserved it (2148)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24646) - you deserved it (2218)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30271) - you deserved it (4050)
On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (1613)
On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45252) - you deserved it (7293)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (3027)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21864) - you deserved it (5778)
On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (2660)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27180) - you deserved it (14068)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25255) - you deserved it (7599)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12130) - you deserved it (17459)
On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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