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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (3852)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30823) - you deserved it (11203)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:38am - misc - by Zmeilerr - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (16207)
On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I changed my facebook relationship status to 'in a relationship'. The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (39912)
On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her facebook once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6249) - you deserved it (36319)
On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (3492)
On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (2020)
Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7518) - you deserved it (33794)
On 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91298) - you deserved it (10763)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20149) - you deserved it (3501)
On 12/10/2010 at 6:37am - misc - by iamnotuseless -
Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20855) - you deserved it (2614)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)
Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (4332)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while working as a hotel guard I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes I realized he was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27329) - you deserved it (7249)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (11095)
On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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