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Talbo2

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Talbo2

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  • Number of visits : 1183
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Talbo2's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Talbo2's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15380) - you deserved it (58838)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

#14930837
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8427) - you deserved it (72179)

On 02/11/2011 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Zibby -

Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML

#14861457
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24602) - you deserved it (7083)

On 02/06/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by xxxchelsiexxx - United States

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (7936)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36352) - you deserved it (4802)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19133) - you deserved it (22872)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

#14480016
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11826) - you deserved it (53248)

On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

#14381626
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8081) - you deserved it (47835)

On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41855) - you deserved it (8758)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

#14330687
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34593) - you deserved it (3934)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

#14309461
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (2639)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:48am - misc - by Username - Canada

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

#14304589
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9416) - you deserved it (39805)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113155) - you deserved it (15266)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

#14151481
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (4555)

On 12/10/2010 at 6:37am - misc - by iamnotuseless -



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