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Talbo2

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Talbo2

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  • Number of visits : 1173
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Talbo2's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Talbo2's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

#17503951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29500) - you deserved it (6097)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

#17497068
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33663) - you deserved it (5680)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

#17480166
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (11517)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm - love - by Leota (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

#17392866
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39148) - you deserved it (3941)

On 08/07/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by Taylor D - United States (Virginia)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (71517)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (15529)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54710) - you deserved it (9325)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
509 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131935) - you deserved it (7352)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (20103)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9030) - you deserved it (43594)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

#16696125
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (42573)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by Madmanmorton (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone, she replied "the dog sitter." FML

#16690008
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (3703)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:25am - animals - by crapped on - United States

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (7989)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (117281)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60964) - you deserved it (4749)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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