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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (2863)
On 08/07/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by Taylor D - United States (Virginia)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8020) - you deserved it (52692)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (11434)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105298) - you deserved it (5806)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (15239)
On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (32204)
On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8671) - you deserved it (31482)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by Madmanmorton (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone, she replied "the dog sitter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (2841)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:25am - animals - by crapped on - United States
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (7319)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7465) - you deserved it (82688)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52437) - you deserved it (3652)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36897) - you deserved it (4226) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35516) - you deserved it (15871)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56992) - you deserved it (5786)
On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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