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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (2314)
On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (5589)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (7627)
Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6601) - you deserved it (22741)
On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5838) - you deserved it (42598)
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (42247)
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32598) - you deserved it (3735)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (3395)
On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (1874)
On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (1881)
On 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm - work - by lpspann87 - United States (Florida)
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (1177)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (2838)
On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States
Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25276) - you deserved it (2409)
On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (2035)
On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7568) - you deserved it (33623)
On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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