Talbo2

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Talbo2

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2189
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Talbo2's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Talbo2's badges

Talbo2's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

by brownunderwear / 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

by Rumpkis / 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

by stinkypants / 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm / India / Health

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

by whatadisappointmnet / 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I gave my boss a nick name. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML

by hatemyboss / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

by Tyler Smith / 11/03/2011 at 7:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML

by brie / 11/02/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous