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Talbo2

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Talbo2

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Talbo2's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

#19113107
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30153) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32843) - you deserved it (2272)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (9656)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31107) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27713) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41275) - you deserved it (3379)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35874) - you deserved it (10161)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (2850)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

#18809719
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38772) - you deserved it (4388)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44225) - you deserved it (4524)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13254) - you deserved it (49301)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65330) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30768) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
276 comments

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

#18586943
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (3057)

On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada



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