Talbo2

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Talbo2

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2342
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Talbo2's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Talbo2's badges

Talbo2's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother told me that not only does she not accept me as a homosexual man, but that she feels my relationship with a little person is "spitting in God's face." FML

by iamatthewroberts / 02/16/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

by yerface / 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

by apricot / 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

by #201 / 02/05/2009 at 8:23am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

by damnit / 02/03/2009 at 5:47am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

by Jack / 02/01/2009 at 3:54am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

by jeesh / 01/31/2009 at 6:48am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

by Coley / 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

by Farva / 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

by pikachu / 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

by none / 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

by FailMan / 01/17/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

by Mr. Shawzy / 01/14/2009 at 8:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love