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TakeMyLifePlease

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TakeMyLifePlease
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 857
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TakeMyLifePlease's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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TakeMyLifePlease's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML

#18135623
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37309) - you deserved it (3304)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:49am - love - by heatherjo - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80456) - you deserved it (11875)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

#17628239
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8018) - you deserved it (18828)

On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML

#17619423
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24897) - you deserved it (2812)

On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30462) - you deserved it (4388)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7937) - you deserved it (70521)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (47520)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33852) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17363) - you deserved it (11847)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52827) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
495 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (204322)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94201) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

#14012574
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (2375)

On 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

#13970714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



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