Tag91999

Search for a member

Tag91999

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 August 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 343
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tag91999 : I like to do stuff

Tag91999's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 9:05pm<b>GeneticGypsy</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:55pm<b>chamay</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 3:14pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:49am<b>Blee864</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:44am

Tag91999's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Tag91999's badges

Tag91999's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

by FUCKKKS / 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

by hé merde / 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

by grossedout / 09/08/2011 at 2:34am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

by grossedout / 09/08/2011 at 2:34am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

by driver / 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

by 3sacrowd / 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy