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Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17670) - you deserved it (4402)
On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25502) - you deserved it (6207)
On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (4795)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:20am - intimacy - by gtfoocd (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17186) - you deserved it (3223)
On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you deserved it (27554)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (2984)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (4075)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (4558)
On 11/24/2011 at 2:30pm - love - by sigh - United States (California)
Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17218) - you deserved it (2073)
On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (3325)
On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18583) - you deserved it (3071)
On 10/26/2011 at 4:58am - misc - by MereLewis95 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16541) - you deserved it (6590)
On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8418) - you deserved it (24429)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)
Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (2758)
On 09/20/2011 at 1:53pm - money - by fiendishkitty - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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