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Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (2306) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14656) - you deserved it (37219)
On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (1257)
On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (1257)
On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8983) - you deserved it (12943)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13435) - you deserved it (3344)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (7959)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (17599)
On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15563) - you deserved it (6886)
On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (1495)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you deserved it (17352)
On 03/12/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (46657)
On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (4360)
On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Monday 20 May 2013
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