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Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22463) - you deserved it (2442)
On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16016) - you deserved it (28426)
On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (2413)
On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States
Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28639) - you deserved it (2529)
On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (5717)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7546) - you deserved it (43803)
On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16203) - you deserved it (3604)
On 01/05/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Pennepestoem (woman) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18575) - you deserved it (5354)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39082) - you deserved it (8125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (3420)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48618) - you deserved it (1786)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (3153)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (5226)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (3168)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6909) - you deserved it (14671)
On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Monday 17 June 2013
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