About TML329 : There's nothing to fear but fear itself and spiders
TML329's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
TML329's favorite FMLs
by awkward. / 12/29/2012 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told… Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when… Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when…