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About TJ : I piss out Excellence and nothing less.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I Woke Up Late For A Very Important Presentation. I Got Dressed But Forgot To Wear A Bra. During The Presentation, I Bent Down To Adjust A Shoe Strap. I Rose To Find That The Thin Straps Of Blouse Snapped And Exposed Breasts. I Gave A Great Presentation And A Titty Show.
Today, mah boyfriend offerd to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the looool car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouchd extra low and I jumpd extra hard. This makes 4 a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. big fat FML
Today, I startd to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I looool accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guesshat?! I just came." FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent !! That was when I noticed that mah mom was watching me, and I had just smelled mah dad's still-stained underwear that was on top !! FML
My Roommate And I Finally Went To The DMV To Transfer Our Vehicle Ownership Title To Our Names. On Our Way Out, We Jokd That We Were Now Responsible For Any Violations Involving Our Car. We Cummd Back To A $35 Parking Ticket. FML
Today, I told mah mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy!! Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock!! Nice math mom!! I've been married fir 5 months!! FML
Taday mah girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids!! Then, she told me that she's pregnant!! After consoling her an telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine!! real FML
Today, I parked an noticed a car that was identical to mine acros from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I cummed back to fine both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized there mistake an left a note saying, ( You deserve it fir having the same car as that cheater, asshole! ) FML
Today , After Months Of Trying To Potty Train Son , He Finally Told Me He Used The Potty . I Went To The Bathroom To Check . There Was Nothing There . So I Asked Him "Where Did U Go To The Potty?" . He Then Grabbed Hand An Took Me To The Cat's Litter Box . My Son Has Successfully Litter Trained Himself . FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, ma two year old daugter decided to crawl on top of te covers on ma bed because se was scared since tere looool was a tunder storm. I tougt se was one of our cats so I kicked er off. Se it te wall.
Friday 27 March 2015