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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TI2oy

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TI2oy
  • Town/Country : New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 July 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 364
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TI2oy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead say "i'm just kidding its really cheap" and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

#920019 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (3416)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by JimmyJazzNJ (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (14845)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

#811119 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (76601) - you deserved it (4346)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

#810439 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (13253)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML

#797554 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (48231) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (19556) - you deserved it (72185)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141718) - you deserved it (53039)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (1681)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was talking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

#142 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (45891) - you deserved it (2249)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I 've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

#40 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (2781)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Lo -

Today, my 63 years old neighbor jumped out of his window… I was the first to find him alive, naked and stuck in a bush… I shouldn’t have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance to rescue him… he was my landlord. FML

#24 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (13460)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:32am - misc - by Benji -

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

#6 (427)

I agree, your life sucks (64431) - you deserved it (26455)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 -



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