About THExistentialist : existentialism: noun, philosphy.1. A philosophical attitude opposed to rationalism and empiricism, that especially stresses the belief in one's unique position as a self-determining factor of the authenticity in one's choices and thus responsible for giving one's own existence validity and meaning.2. strongly opposes dogmatic systems by which life may be led under judgement by others and the worthiness of said life determined by ones loyalty to separate entity.3. associated with angst, apathy, cynicism, and more often than not, heroin addiction.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I went to use the restroom. I looked down at the toilet, and saw blood smeared all over the seat, as well as several dirty tampons in the floor. I confronted my girlfriend about the mess, only for her to reply with, "Well, what'd you expect? You live with a woman now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38047) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:29am - health - by GrossedOut (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (4475)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8280) - you deserved it (25176)
On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -
Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4118) - you deserved it (17005)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8192) - you deserved it (17840)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (2556)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (2075)
On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18943) - you deserved it (1148)
On 04/15/2012 at 1:38pm - animals - by really mom (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6531) - you deserved it (16489)
On 04/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21785) - you deserved it (4521)
On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11991) - you deserved it (6081)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21165) - you deserved it (1628)
On 04/09/2012 at 8:23am - misc - by zazzleface - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5076) - you deserved it (33443)
On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (4069)
On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, since I'm too broke to get a new one, I had to duct tape my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (2067)
On 03/18/2012 at 8:51pm - money - by liver (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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