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THE_A_TEEN's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
by psychicmother / 09/09/2011 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML
by waj9876 / 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by lolomg / 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Intimacy
by thismakesmesad / 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by foreseeingabreakup / 09/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Sally / 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Gross... / 08/16/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
by howniceofyou / 08/01/2011 at 2:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm / United States / Kids
by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…