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THE_A_TEEN's favorite FMLs
Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML
by unfriendlyskies / 04/02/2012 at 7:40pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 3:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
by soupisyummy / 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Lea / 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
by Snurkles McGree / 12/29/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
by somewhatlucky / 12/27/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Health
by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by guy / 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
by vistingherfamily / 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm / United States / Intimacy
by leaf hater / 11/17/2011 at 7:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Janice / 11/07/2011 at 12:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought… Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long… Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno…