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Swiko

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Swiko

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1908
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Swiko's page activity

Visits<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:31am<b>vde</b> - the 10/20/2011 at 5:47pm

Swiko's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Swiko's badges

Swiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (5463)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31727) - you deserved it (4784)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53584) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42184) - you deserved it (10377)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22484) - you deserved it (16665)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13458) - you deserved it (39753)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (7002)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

#14908129
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (7326)

On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51050) - you deserved it (4162) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

#14560893
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/12/2011 at 11:42pm - kids - by tatortot7707 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (3241)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (12371)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

#13729303
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (2717)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:14pm - misc - by nolife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a grizzled, old gas station attendant with a stain on her blouse use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

#13559030
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (2674)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29236) - you deserved it (3012)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia



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