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Swiko

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Swiko
  • Town/Country : Peoria, Arizona, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 July 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 953
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Swiko's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Swiko's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (1481)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (1473)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

#20033849
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (4806)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8275) - you deserved it (24663)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

#19991008
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5586) - you deserved it (18680)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:20pm - misc - by kumbuck3t15 (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML

#19964945
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (3901)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm - health - by fxck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

#19953663
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13371) - you deserved it (7426)

On 07/18/2012 at 4:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27422) - you deserved it (1462)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (1430) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France



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