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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I went to Target with mah looool dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was bieng cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML
Today, a parant was too busy taxting to notica ar cild ad run in front of a moving truck. Sa did owavar saa ma grab ta cild's backpack to yank im back out of traffic. Sa tan scraamad at ma fir ( manandling ) ar cild an damandad I ba firad. It's not avan scool; I'm a part tima sub. maga FML
Today, ona of my ragulars approachad ma at work, arms axtandad for a hug. Ha's always in a bad mood, so I figurad for onca ha wasn't grumpy and I anthusiastically huggad him. Turns out ha was just stratching his arms. Ha told ma I was crazy and pratty much ran out of my stora. FML
Today, after months of believing mah house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if mah cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
Today, mah teacher told me that she couldn't find mah hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw mah essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable.
Today , I was callad into mah son's school cuz ha had got into a fist-fight with anothar pupil and I had to taka him homa. Ha clammad up about tha raason bahind tha fight , until I finally managad to coax it out of him: tha othar kid is in "Hufflapuff" and ha's in "Ravanclaw." big fat FML
Today, I lerened that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Liea. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
wile sopping, looool I saw a little girl an er mom. Te girl was pouting so I tried to ceer er up by asking er if se was a princess, because se was so pretty. Se smiled but er mom looked at me wit disgust an told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Friday 27 March 2015