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SwiftFaux

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SwiftFaux
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 506
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SwiftFaux's favorite FMLs

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

#17137243
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31390) - you deserved it (16447)

On 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm - work - by Brian - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (15311)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33181) - you deserved it (8187)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML

#17126072
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24964) - you deserved it (5345)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Creep (woman) - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

#17125481
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9826) - you deserved it (36955)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm - work - by Meg - United States (Florida)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML

#17125458
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (2041)

On 07/15/2011 at 6:21pm - love - by emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33255) - you deserved it (5448)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (4579)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you deserved it (8766)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33855) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52782) - you deserved it (9114)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33174) - you deserved it (2613)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (44712)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19697) - you deserved it (1683)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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