SwiftFaux

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SwiftFaux

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1090
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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SwiftFaux's page activity

Visits<b>8dhollis</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:23pm<b>joannaxx</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:04pm<b>madi113</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:02am<b>sam_cat</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:41pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:18am<b>boomclap</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:34am<b>LiveDreamsG</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 3:24am<b>Mrpolo_18</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:52pm<b>NasirDog</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:54pm<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:11am<b>X_Jasmon_X</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:11am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:22am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:09am<b>insomniacdreamer</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 7:33pm<b>binger_gitch</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:55pm<b>Hello9875</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>8dhollis</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:52am

SwiftFaux's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SwiftFaux's favorite FMLs

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

by Brian / 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm / United States / Work

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

by McKenna / 07/16/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML

by Creep / 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Puerto Rico) / Love

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

by Meg / 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML

by emily / 07/15/2011 at 6:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

by panos016 / 07/15/2011 at 9:51am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

by SCREWED / 07/15/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

by Eden / 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

by sbutler / 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek