SwiftFaux

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SwiftFaux

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1335
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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SwiftFaux's page activity

Visits<b>MarieTjeDW</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:06pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:57pm<b>gorgonkiller15</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 11:05am<b>8dhollis</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:23pm<b>joannaxx</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 2:04pm<b>madi113</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:02am<b>sam_cat</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:41pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:18am<b>boomclap</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:34am<b>LiveDreamsG</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 3:24am<b>Mrpolo_18</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:52pm<b>NasirDog</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 6:54pm<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:11am<b>X_Jasmon_X</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:11am<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:22am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:09am

Fucked!<b>8dhollis</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:52am

SwiftFaux's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

SwiftFaux's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm / United States / Kids

Today, my sister announced that she had gotten engaged. I was happy for her until I found out she's marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied me all through high school. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 5:35pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

by Elizabeth / 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

by Elizabeth / 07/29/2011 at 3:56pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 4:44pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML

by Fairymyass / 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

by twelfinity / 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

by sfabsits / 07/17/2011 at 3:00am / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

by grenade / 07/17/2011 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

by it_IS_just_me / 07/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 8:17pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health