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Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14067) - you deserved it (9237)
On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
I agree, your life sucks (11889) - you deserved it (2904)
On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15990) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (1588)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16007) - you deserved it (1573)
On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5760) - you deserved it (24898)
On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (1915)
On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35037) - you deserved it (2072)
On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (1947)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (2776)
On 07/22/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by oliverP123 - United States (New York)
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (5519)
On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (6910)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46314) - you deserved it (3209)
On 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm - intimacy - by Hanna (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherf*cking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (2451)
On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (1906)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa
Friday 24 May 2013
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