Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SusanBieber

Search for a member

SusanBieber

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1478
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SusanBieber : I think you're on the wrong page.

SusanBieber's page activity

Visits<b>spazz526</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:45am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:41pm<b>MyReinvention55</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:17am<b>Usuario</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:35am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 12:25am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:44am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:23pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:33am<b>phinsa123</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:57pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 9:26am<b>PoppingZits</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:46pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 12:42pm<b>FluffyPanda111</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 11:10pm<b>fireman336</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 5:47am<b>Papa_Parker</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 2:47pm<b>mellingeramber</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 2:45pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 5:24pm<b>jacobcollege2008</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 12:30am

SusanBieber's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of SusanBieber's badges

SusanBieber's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (2972)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (3320)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (4286)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (4859)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (4508)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6201) - you deserved it (26684)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25702) - you deserved it (3473)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (2461)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (1907)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (1520)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20087) - you deserved it (1919)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (5779)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (3605)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: