SusanBieber

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SusanBieber

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4028
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SusanBieber : I think you're on the wrong page.

SusanBieber's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 12:53pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 7:48pm<b>sarika</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 11:42pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:48am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 5:07pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:18am<b>rushabh97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:26am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:35am<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:00am<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:41pm<b>gobucks2015</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:36pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:00am<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:38pm<b>kaitlyntonner</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:20pm<b>spazz526</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:45am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:41pm<b>MyReinvention55</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:17am<b>Usuario</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:35am

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SusanBieber's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

by FireoftheFuture / 05/02/2013 at 7:02am / United States / Work

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

by fmlman / 03/15/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Wyoming) / Miscellaneous