Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SusanBieber

Search for a member

SusanBieber

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1507
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SusanBieber : I think you're on the wrong page.

SusanBieber's page activity

Visits<b>spazz526</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:45am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:41pm<b>MyReinvention55</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:17am<b>Usuario</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 3:35am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 12:25am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:44am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:23pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:33am<b>phinsa123</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:57pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 9:26am<b>PoppingZits</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:46pm<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 12:42pm<b>FluffyPanda111</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 11:10pm<b>fireman336</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 5:47am<b>Papa_Parker</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 2:47pm<b>mellingeramber</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 2:45pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 5:24pm<b>jacobcollege2008</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 12:30am

SusanBieber's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of SusanBieber's badges

SusanBieber's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60724) - you deserved it (13788)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47162) - you deserved it (4983)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54922) - you deserved it (64037)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53399) - you deserved it (7499)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40551) - you deserved it (3855)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27810) - you deserved it (49975)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

#20604222
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47541) - you deserved it (20975)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42270) - you deserved it (12383)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43778) - you deserved it (11280)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14708) - you deserved it (57758)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

#20577218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39631) - you deserved it (19393)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37552) - you deserved it (6650)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (15245)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (6671)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38867) - you deserved it (5663)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: