About Superflyshyguy : Yeellllooo.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (4771)
On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49155) - you deserved it (9961)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a maths test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26963) - you deserved it (2978)
On 11/01/2010 at 11:10am - intimacy - by crazy_mom (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (7394)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18515) - you deserved it (5352)
On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6518) - you deserved it (27872)
On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite rock songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6550) - you deserved it (22081)
On 09/30/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by PhilDavisDied? - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (3053)
On 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50434) - you deserved it (2171)
On 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm - animals - by jrad - United States (Georgia)
Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16648) - you deserved it (15096)
On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5578) - you deserved it (28229)
On 09/01/2010 at 5:01pm - misc - by samboob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (6101)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (10567)
On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7791) - you deserved it (32106)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25120) - you deserved it (5023)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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