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Superawesome315

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Superawesome315

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Superawesome315's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

#20851748
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37628) - you deserved it (7212)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:28am - health - by HannahBretts - United States (California)

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (11005)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41041) - you deserved it (4210)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37381) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38451) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42340) - you deserved it (13649)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42340) - you deserved it (13649)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45361) - you deserved it (14655)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52827) - you deserved it (8005)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40116) - you deserved it (5158)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47863) - you deserved it (4238)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43683) - you deserved it (21520)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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