Superawesome315

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Superawesome315

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Superawesome315's FML badges

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Superawesome315's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

by Stripes_And_Dots / 09/14/2013 at 2:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm / Ireland (Donegal) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

by Renagirl / 09/09/2013 at 8:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

by jessel_ladd92 / 09/09/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

by mother to an ugly doll / 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

by lostinspace / 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

by Palindromesque / 09/04/2013 at 5:07am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML