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Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30746) - you deserved it (4172)
On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (3369)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (3345)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49360) - you deserved it (2977)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (3288)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (2392)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (34465)
On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18790) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16633) - you deserved it (4826)
On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (3709)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15713) - you deserved it (1262)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19623) - you deserved it (1270)
On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17027) - you deserved it (2586)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15109) - you deserved it (2830)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:00am - health - by Dracoboxer357 - Canada
Monday 20 May 2013
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