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Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45139) - you deserved it (4501)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55615) - you deserved it (11979)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55615) - you deserved it (11979)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (26605)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40130) - you deserved it (4555)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (3446)
On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (3655)
On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50261) - you deserved it (15457)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31528) - you deserved it (4015)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35318) - you deserved it (4228)
On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48611) - you deserved it (3736)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31275) - you deserved it (2637)
On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48976) - you deserved it (3905)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46420) - you deserved it (4431)
On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (8978)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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