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Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (2361)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (15159)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36413) - you deserved it (3149)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (5054)
On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (2306)
On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26569) - you deserved it (1241)
On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (1859)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (1409)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (3977)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24969) - you deserved it (3951)
On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (2710)
On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (5233)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (1900)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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