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SuperTroll187's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
SuperTroll187's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML
by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, my sister found out she contracted ringworm and scabies from her best friend's rescued kittens. The entire family now has to be treated to prevent it from spreading. There are 7 people in our house and none of us have health insurance. FML
by cderr / 07/17/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Username / 07/01/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
by Chris / 01/01/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/11/2010 at 12:10am / Indonesia / Work
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
by cartrouble / 11/24/2010 at 10:52pm / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation
Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML
by romedizzle / 11/24/2010 at 4:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 12:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…