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Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (952)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (3176)
On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14128) - you deserved it (1774)
On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12587) - you deserved it (15327)
On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16110) - you deserved it (3258) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (1362)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12669) - you deserved it (15988)
On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (424)
On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (2788)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (20207)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20372) - you deserved it (3805)
On 08/06/2012 at 2:37am - love - by shastadoe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3735) - you deserved it (23004)
On 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm - misc - by icybrent94 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (5515)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16104) - you deserved it (2035)
On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14943) - you deserved it (1456)
On 07/27/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by WTF is all I ask (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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