SummonerMaenad

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Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 7:58pm)

SummonerMaenad

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1882
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SummonerMaenad : Oh, you don't really wanna know, do you? :)

SummonerMaenad's page activity

Visits<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:24pm<b>07rclare</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:07am<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:28am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:24am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:54am<b>hippokrates</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:36am<b>persianninja</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:37am<b>Emmaluv27</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:12am<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Mike_Sweatpants</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:50pm<b>lb562</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:08pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 3:03am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:09pm<b>Penguin388</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 3:14am

Fucked!<b>07rclare</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:56am

SummonerMaenad's FML badges

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SummonerMaenad's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my closest encounter to having sex in the last four months was getting chlamydia from Russell Brand. In a dream. FML

by itssomething / 03/01/2016 at 3:15pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I had a heart attack. In the hospital the doctor compared my heart to that of a stressed out 60 year-old's. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 11:39am / Health

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got my very first tattoo. Excited, I sent a picture to my best friend. Her response? "You're joking, right?" FML

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

by Wtf / 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm / Love

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

by bubblewrap / 10/20/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I got into a minor argument with my fiancé. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, I shrugged and said, "Really, what are we even doing this for?" To which he replied, "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't loved you in years… Oh, you meant about the fight." And just like that, I'm now single. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 8:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after 4 days of avoiding me and screening his calls, my 24-year-old boyfriend sent his mother to break up with me on his behalf. FML

by coward / 10/03/2015 at 6:13am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2015 at 8:16am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

by Thai that on for size / 09/25/2015 at 3:56pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

by helpme / 09/25/2015 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

by fukinlonely / 01/12/2015 at 7:53am / United Kingdom / Love