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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (2334)
On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore
Today, my boyfriend has gone to a traffic light party. Wear Red if your are taken, yellow if taken but willing to cheat and green if you're single. Guess who hasn't got a red shirt? FML
I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (2296)
On 12/21/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by Jx (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14616) - you deserved it (9012)
On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States
Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7570) - you deserved it (19348)
On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (1490)
On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (3783)
On 08/18/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by Lies (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, there was some teenage hoodlums outside in our parking lot. When I tell them to leave, one of the bigger guys steps up and says "I'll kick your ass!". I yell "No balls!", to the teen. He then whips me to the ground and sits on my face, proving to me that he did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9279) - you deserved it (34238)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by noballs - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39823) - you deserved it (2182)
On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why, he said, "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67930) - you deserved it (2866)
On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (67461)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (130781)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (40073)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (103649) - you deserved it (7458)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11434) - you deserved it (23011)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)
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