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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Subakie's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 11:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 10:12am / United States / Work
by bloody_hell / 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 2:18am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
by je suis christy / 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love
by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by zacharynedley / 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
by allgassedout / 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML
by outofajob / 01/01/2015 at 6:03pm / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML
by insomniacap / 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by BlondePsycho / 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML
by happytuckerhappy / 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my fiancé proposed to me. He said, "I could have picked anyone, but I chose you. You're a solid 2, which is average. Not a 10, but I'm glad you're a 2. Less pressure, ya know." I'm not sure if I should be more upset with the fact that I'm "average", or the fact that he thought this was romantic. FML
by SupposedlyAverage / 12/27/2014 at 9:55am / United States / Love
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML
by GOAWAY / 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Love