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Subakie's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Subakie's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
by Distracted / 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
by tardspawn / 04/05/2015 at 11:38am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Health
Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 12:04am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by big_bail / 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML
by Winterbelle / 04/01/2015 at 9:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by technical / 03/30/2015 at 10:50pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Pukey / 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm / United States / Kids
Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work
by TooShortToCleanThat / 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 03/19/2015 at 1:01am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML
by Stressed Mother / 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
by anonymous / 03/17/2015 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML
by hard work doesn't work / 03/13/2015 at 2:21am / United States (Texas) / Work