Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Subakie

Search for a member

Subakie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4035
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Subakie's page activity

Visits<b>zBerryz</b> - yesterday at 2:19am<b>watermelon1</b> - yesterday at 10:27pm<b>MAD01502</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:34am<b>Insomnis</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:56am<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:31am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:21pm<b>neonglostix</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:58am<b>Claire83</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:44pm<b>acommonman</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:05am<b>joele60</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:33am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:29pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 7:45pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 4:56pm<b>ribbons</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 5:19am<b>vernk</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Cygnus</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 1:52am<b>Joshido</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 5:35pm

Subakie's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Subakie's badges

Subakie's favorite FMLs

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51078) - you deserved it (5373)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (3307)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (3044)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36831) - you deserved it (14697)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41031) - you deserved it (2924)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

#21073377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35452) - you deserved it (4364)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44024) - you deserved it (4162)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50098) - you deserved it (6648)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (6268)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (3925)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (3837)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: