Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Subakie

Offline (41 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Subakie

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4778
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Subakie's page activity

Visits<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:03pm<b>nightdreamer13</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:24am<b>drokkkit</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Rajafashaneshi</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:36pm<b>vernk</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:31pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:19am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:27pm<b>MAD01502</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:34am<b>Insomnis</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:56am<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:31am<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:21pm<b>neonglostix</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:58am<b>Claire83</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:44pm<b>acommonman</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:05am

Liked!<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:29pm

Subakie's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Subakie's badges

Subakie's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

#21174174
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48346) - you deserved it (5117)

On 06/14/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40636) - you deserved it (4420)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (8491)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

#21162641
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (5687)

On 06/04/2014 at 9:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44586) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, at work, a lady approached me asking if I'd found a used cloth diaper on a table, and I told her it was probably in the trash. She said "That's okay, I can wash it." So I searched through several bags of trash, and when I couldn't find it, she said "Oh never mind! It's in my bag." FML

#21158865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (4204)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:13am - work - by cootiequeen (woman) - United States

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (3646)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41402) - you deserved it (9634)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

#21154891
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45124) - you deserved it (3372)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by chubbs - United States (California)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (5300)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, five minutes before closing, a woman came in to buy over $300 worth of clothing from the sales rack. My manager and I had to ring it all up, de-sensor it, fold it, bag it, etc. After it was all rung up, her credit card was declined. FML

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

#21148492
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (9210)

On 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (4435)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (8060)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: