Subakie

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Subakie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14448
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Subakie's page activity

Visits<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:49am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:24am<b>martini47</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:12am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:07pm<b>9ndfine</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:15am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Attacksloth</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:32pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:22am<b>gwho</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:08am<b>Pk93</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:04pm<b>AmericaAmurka</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:03pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:42am<b>chuksnwali</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:03pm<b>nightdreamer13</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:24am<b>drokkkit</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:11pm

Fucked!<b>kjrothgeb29</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:29pm

Subakie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Subakie's badges

Subakie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

by bwoolf96 / 09/10/2015 at 8:32am / Health

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 9:26am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

by bruised / 08/15/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

by stressedmom36 / 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, a woman who works in the clinic across the road told me that my glass isn't frosted enough and she and all her patients can see me when I shower. FML

by theflasher / 08/13/2015 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2015 at 1:18am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

by Cygnus / 08/03/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

by StargazeKitsune / 07/31/2015 at 1:36am / United States (Montana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

by Application / 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Work